The venue has been chosen, the photographer booked, the music too, and the guests? This is one of the hardest parts of the planning, because it touches many aspects of your wedding, from the budget to the venue. Let's look in detail at what to consider in order to make the right choices.
Here are 6 tips for your guest list
Photo © My Happy Wedding
Budget
Wanting absolutely everyone at your wedding, even the new colleague or the distant relative, is perfectly normal. Before you start inviting people, though, you should know your budget. More guests means more covers, larger venues, more wedding favours and more guests to entertain.
Where are you getting married?
When inviting guests, think about where your wedding will be. If you're marrying close to home, far more people are likely to attend. If you're considering somewhere far from home or abroad, think carefully about whether your guests will be willing to travel so far, bearing in mind there will also be elderly people and children. Take this into account before sending out the invitations.
The church and the restaurant
The size of the church and the restaurant is crucial. Holding a wedding with lots of guests in a small country church or a restaurant with limited seating is one of the mistakes to watch out for. Guests don't appreciate standing outside the church in the sun or the cold during the ceremony, not to mention that some of them, perhaps elderly, would rather be seated. Talk to the parish priest to find out the capacity and whether there are any restrictions on numbers. As for the restaurant, the restaurateur will tell you the maximum number of diners allowed. Remember to ask how much space will be left for the dance floor: sometimes there are so many tables that just getting from one side of the room to the other is genuinely awkward.
How to count children
Consider this: out of two hundred guests, if ten families each have two children, that's around twenty extra guests and therefore twenty extra seats. To avoid this problem, ask the restaurant whether children's entertainment is provided, and ask the parents whether or not they'll be bringing their children to the wedding. It's best to leave nothing to chance and know your exact number of guests. Extra guests create problems with table plans and accommodation.
Plus one
It often happens that you invite friends who have been in a relationship for a while that isn't yet fully defined. If a family member is in that situation, a plus one is only natural; but if, say, a work colleague has told you about a relationship and you've never met their partner, skip the plus one and save that seat for your friends or other relatives.
Is everyone coming or not?
This is a big dilemma: telling the restaurant how many guests will actually attend is one of every couple's worst nightmares. Usually you let guests know the deadline for confirming their attendance, and the restaurateur will give you the final date for passing on the numbers. Sometimes, despite confirmations, a share of guests doesn't turn up, so it's wise to ask the restaurant what percentage of tolerance there is, beyond which the cost of the menu will be charged anyway.
Frequently asked questions
Where do you start with the guest list?
With the budget and the venue's capacity: knowing how many people you can host helps you decide whom to invite without surprises.
How do you avoid offending those who aren't invited?
With clear criteria that apply to everyone (for example, close relatives only, or no colleagues) and by announcing early that you've chosen a small wedding.
When should you send the invitations?
Usually two or three months before, and even earlier with a «save the date» if many guests are travelling from afar.
